Do you know how life sometimes feels like one big building site? As soon as you've finished one building site, the next one is due. The times when life runs smoothly seem to be the exception. We would love to simply conjure up the unloved building sites so that we can finally glide through life completely relaxed. But that works as little in life as it does on the road.
We are annoyed by potholes, detours or roads that are too narrow. Then we sometimes say: »Something needs to be done!« And so a construction site is created. In the long term, this is a good investment, as it eliminates the causes. But in the short term, roadworks are usually unpopular because they slow us down. We often get stuck in traffic jams at roadworks, get annoyed or even honk our horns. We feel like victims of the circumstances, but we are part of the problem - it's not »I'm stuck in a traffic jam«, but »I am the traffic jam«. It is a question of perspective whether we see roadworks as a problem or as a solution to a problem. Ultimately, they are a necessary evil for a sustainable flow of traffic. Without roadworks, we would risk our lives on dilapidated roads or take long detours until the big gridlock finally brings everything to a standstill.
Driving around roadworks? Not a permanent solution
It's similar to road traffic in real life. Before we open up a roadworks site, we like to try and get through somehow. We often say »it'll work out somehow«, »it'll resolve itself«, »I've already got enough on my plate«, »I don't need to make such a fuss«. Of course, we can try to avoid unpleasant topics for a while, but at some point they do catch up with us. It is therefore advisable to tackle unpleasant changes at an early stage instead of risking a major crisis in the long term.
Many life crises are the result of procrastination. Here are four typical examples:
- Relationship: First you stop talking in the relationship, and at some point you have grown apart and break up. Possible building blocks: clarifying conversation, personal development, couples therapy.
- Profession: At first you just have stress at work, you keep bumping into the same issues, and in the end: burn-out. Possible building sites: Coaching, discussion with the boss, personality test, job change.
- Health: Constant twinges in my back, then at some point pain, resting posture, painkillers and finally a slipped disc. Possible remedies: Physiotherapy, healthy lifting with a straight back, swimming instead of marathons.
- Finances: The money is not enough to cover the standard of living, the debt increases, as does the interest burden, and in the end: insolvency. Possible construction sites: Check the cash flow, draw up a budget, save costs by doing without, if in doubt, consult debt counseling.
Everyone has areas of life where things don't really run smoothly at times. This is completely normal. It only becomes critical when problems become permanent and develop into a full-blown crisis. Here it is important to take countermeasures at an early stage. The trick is to recognize necessary lifestyle changes early on and take bold measures before the situation escalates.
What does your life look like? Do you know your construction sites? How do you deal with them? Ask yourself the following questions to identify the need and opportunities for action:
- In which area of life do I have my construction sites? Constant stress at work? Constant arguments in the relationship? Constant physical or emotional pain? Recurring and increasing money problems?
- Where do others see my construction sites? Do I perhaps have blind spots? Which real friends could give me honest feedback?
- What is stopping me from tackling my construction sites? What am I afraid of? What have I tried before? Why didn't it work? How could I approach it differently?
- What support would help me? Where could I find help? What role models are there for me? Are there any inspiring books for my questions? Which professionals are familiar with my topic?
The construction sites of life
If you ask yourself these questions and actively tackle the necessary changes, you are well on the way to averting creeping crises in your life at an early stage. It is encouraging to know that we are not completely at the mercy of life crises and that we can shape our destiny to a large extent. Sometimes, however, fate strikes abruptly. A serious accident, a life-threatening diagnosis or the loss of a loved one, for example, can suddenly turn our lives upside down. Sometimes such negative events accumulate or chain together. This is when people start to feel powerless. The child has fallen into the well.
What can I do if a life crisis can no longer be averted? The most sensible thing to do is to deal with your situation in the best possible way. However, »making the best of it« should not be confused with »everything is fine«. Because in the long run, sugar-coating things is just as useless as complaining. It is important to explicitly acknowledge the seriousness and pain of the situation without falling into the role of victim. As shapers, we can influence the present and the future. In this context, I find the chess saying comforting: »No matter how bad things are, there is always a best next move.« In life, we can't win either. At some point we will be checkmated and die. But that doesn't mean we stop living. On the contrary! We can make the most of the time we have left and concentrate on the things and people in life that are really important to us.