Round after round in the crisis carousel
Are you familiar with the „crisis carousel“? The experience of repeatedly ending up in similar crises - in your relationship, at work or even in your health? Even though you always get up afterwards and try again?
I know the crisis carousel well! I was very successful in my jobs as an employee, but also stressed to the point of acute exhaustion. Even a „new“ job didn't change that, because it was always similar to my old one, with a lot of pressure and little inner fulfillment. I also had really great relationships in my private life, but the crisis always came at some point and led to a break-up. A „new“ relationship didn't change that either, because I kept stumbling over the same problems.
Yet I got up again after every crisis and tried again and again! Like the famous stand-up man, according to the motto: Fall down, get up, straighten your crown, keep going. Don't cry - keep going! I was even proud of it and had the feeling that I was indestructible. But it didn't help me. I spun in circles, stood still, fell down again and again.
Blossom instead of just getting up!
In my late 30s, it *clicked* for me after my relationship and job blew up in my face for the umpteenth time - this time even at the same time! Only then did I realize that this would go on forever if I carried on as before. I had to change something - and I had to change myself! Because it wasn't a coincidence or bad luck, it wasn't the wrong women or the wrong boss - it had something to do with ME: I was the problem! Not a nice realization, but: If I am the problem, then I can also be the solution! For the first time, I seriously asked myself: „How can I change ME to get off this crisis carousel?“
To cut a long story short: I have changed, taken responsibility for my life and turned it around. I literally blossomed, first as a manager and family man and now as a self-employed person. Today I am grateful for this crisis. It was „necessary“ in my life and forced me to grow - beyond myself.
People who grow in the face of crises are not „stalwarts“. They are not static toys, but living beings who change and sometimes even blossom after crises. They don't just get up after the crisis and move on, but get up and take a new direction: something new „emerges“. So if you want to get off the crisis merry-go-round, it's better not to think of yourself as a stand-up guy, because images create impact! If we want to imagine ourselves as a „-man“, then it's better to think of ourselves as a „Bloomaufmännchen“!
The inner image of the Bloomaufmännchen® raises awareness of the opportunities that are hidden in many crises. The focus is on growth after the crisis - rather than on restoring the original state. And yes, there are of course strokes of fate in life - I speak from experience here too - where you are happy if you somehow „survive“ them. But the real potential lies in personal growth after the crisis. And that means hard work - but it's worth it!
So what can you do specifically to get off the crisis merry-go-round and grow from crises? Here is an overview in three steps to inspire you.
Flourishing after the crisis: three concrete steps
1. accept crises
Be aware of the crisis instead of suppressing it out of shame or glossing it over! Accept that things can't go on as before instead of hoping that they will somehow get better. Ask yourself: „What do I have to say goodbye to in my life right now?“ And then: grieve! Allow the pain. Let go of the old so that something new can emerge.
2. look for opportunities
Once you have accepted and appreciated the crisis, you will find it easier to discover the opportunities it offers. Look back on the crisis to learn from it, without regrets. Find starting points for how you can change your life for the better. Ask yourself the following questions: „What can I learn from this crisis, especially about myself?“, „Am I part of the problem?“ (That would be good, because then you are not a victim but can change something!), „What can and must I change so that the crisis does not happen again?“
3. dare to change
If you have (hopefully) found something that you can change for the better, then dare to make this change! Don't just carry on as before, but boldly break new ground. If not now, then when? Crises are the best time for change because you have already had to leave your comfort zone. Just don't go back to the familiar discomfort now, but dare to try the unknown! Change takes time and energy and is often associated with (growing) pains. So go step by step at your own pace, but don't stand still!
Take your chance and flourish!